Standing there alone in the pounding rain,
Night came as it devoured the twilight,
Leaving no traces of light or life,
Standing there,
I reached out to those who were there,
I was caught in the dark abyss below me,
I shrieked but no one answered,
They looked at me pathetically,
As they turned their backs on me,
Leaving me there to rot perhaps to die......
I frantically reached out but I was concealed in,
By the invisible barrier which shrouds me,
I grasped of what I thought was the escape,
But all I found was the bars that concealed my soul,
Caged like a swallow with the broken wings,
As it yearns for the skies that keeps distancing from it,
Looking up as the sky furthers itself from me,
The malicious pit below me sucking me in,
Gasping for air as I finally gave in,
Death......
Death......
Buccaneer......
Thursday, 30th of October 2008
The Buccaneer in its prime
I though to myself, it was not because of my size. I fell, I know that there is that barrier, invisible shrouding over me like a cage, never letting me go. Sighed I went back to mourning for myself. Arifah came by to check on us if we were doing our jobs. They went on chatting on about High School Musical III. I though that the show was just a show where they sing and dance, held no importance to me anyway. Went to the auditorium after recess. There were some inspectors checking the safety measures in our school and cleanliness. Some crazy Three K project. They were asking for the mission and the vision of our school on Three K. All I though was,'So what! If a student can memorize it, does it means he is a good student? If a student who does not memorize it but practices it everyday, does that mean he is a bad student?', I hate these crazy inspectors on their lousy and stupid questions.
Was listening to a speech on Robotics but then the candidates for the Debate Team were called out to go to the library. Shrugged and stepped out. Saw Wei Ken, Mun Chun, Nanthin, Muayyad[was in bold because he was persistent that I forgot to put his name in] We had another session with Atreyi on the briefing of the debate format.
Making another picture now! Having Jie Sheng thinking for ideas for my story. By the way, the main character is known as Tristan, nicknamed as Tristan The Trident, Three T is still way better than Three K!
Escape......
Wednesday, 29th of October 2008
Woke up around seven in the morning, I followed my mom while she sent my brother to college. My cousin tagged along, said he had nothing better to do. Wasted about three hours eating and coming home. My mom changed a pans on the road, saying that she wanted to go to the market. We were out of poultry and she needed to get some ginseng. I was doomed...... Two hours in the market, the people, the noise, the shouting, the smell......THIS IS NOT HAPPENING! I called my friend, Wilson if I could hang at his pace for a couple of hours. And he said yes.Went to Wilson's and my mom and cousin were off 'marketing'.
He skipped school today, Form 4 end term examinations on Islam and Chinese subject. My mom fetched me up at eleven later. Did another picture of a Buccaneer with a shoulder guard, his hands on hand, another holding a broadsword. I tried touching up the shoes.
I got a little feverish but the thermometer reading said I was just fine. I think......Scratch that! I want to be in love! Attending my cousin, [not the one that was dragged by my mom to the market], Congratulations Mister Lai Chin Kit and Miss Shirley Lee! Do not mind the retard that is typing this......
Finished 'Bukit Kepong' course, synopsis of work chapter one. I cannot post my art today. My brother just spilled a cup of juice on it. It is disgustingly wet but will be posted tomorrow......I hope!
Art......
Tuesday, 28th of October 2008
Did a few art work today. More of a manga type rather than the Monalisa done by the great Picasso. I am trying to scan the pictures into my computer but my brother keeps pestering me about the body allocations and the facial expressions. Drawn something like a pirate without the lousy Jack Sparrow hat, no offence Johnny Depp! Will post the picture maybe by midday or perhaps night. Hope you people can criticize and flaming would be appreciated!
What I first tried out......
The outcome!Light......
Monday, 27th of October 2008
The title says it all......again.The Festival of Lights! Happy Deepavali! It is Monday morning and I feel great...... for the first time in my entire life, I think? Did not even bothered showering knowing that I would not even have to think about going back to school till Wednesday. I grinned at myself and sneered triumphantly at myself in the mirror. I was like going "Who has to go to school? Oh wait! I don't have to attend classes today! Hahahaha!" Too loud. My brother woke up and threw the toilet roll at me. The story is stirring up in my mind. How would it be a fun to read story for all? Any idea guys? Oh, I almost forgotten about the gals? Please leave me ideas in my Chat Box [C-Box].
Learning to deal with paragraphs, something Jie Sheng taught me. I think it is just a waste of space. Looking at those gaping spaces waiting to be filled with words. Sorry spaces. Roy came to my house, his mother invited my mother to my ex-tuition teacher, Ms. Geetha if you wanted to know for an Indian open house, they told us that they had a wonderous time there, but they did not even bring anything back. Wanted to break down and started sobbing, all that Indian curry delicacies down the drain. Sigh. Wasted my whole day gaming. Maple Story has that Deepavali event that caught my eye. Wasted about ten hours sitting in front of the computer, straining my eyes and killing off all my cells. Darn, starting to forget about those paragraphs.
As I was saying, I really need help on my tale to be. A little idea from you goes a long way for me!
Tale......
Sunday, 26th of October 2008
Lying with my face buried in my pillow draining out the sound of the rustling wind and the rain beads smashing against my window. I silently fell unconsciously through the chaotic surrounding and malicious atmosphere. Woke up on the wrong side of the bed. My hair in a bunch crumpled by my sleep. Woke up in the worst mood ever. Then I realized that the stench of death was surrounding me. All that was racing through my mind was my family, had I slept through their deaths? Did I slay them myself unconsciously? My fingernails were jagged thinking I may scratched them to death. I laughed sarcastically at myself at my crazy thoughts thinking that how could my family, healthy while up and going be gone in these hours of my unconsciousness. The only problem was the stench never really escaped my sense of smell. Must have been the butcher or someone, but my mind was racing. I rushed downstairs on to find that my father was at his usual spot taking breakfast with the papers in his hand, my mother cooking the same old morning pancakes by the stove. My older brother by the table, wolfing down mouthful of pancakes and washing them in with cups of milk. Everything seemed alright. How wrong I was indeed......
A story that I will be starting, typing the contents inside my blog? How does that sound? Fair enough? By the way, Happy Deepavali!
Unexpected......
Thursday, 23rd of October 2008
Something interesting happened today. I went to school with the mindset that we would have to go through Economics, Biology, Physics, Chemistry and Information and Communication Technology. As usual, Wen Jie and I set up the Public Address System. Fixed up the mike in the plains too. Listening to a bunch of things that I cannot and will not remember due to any circumstances. We went to the auditorium again, it is starting to give me claustrophobia. I was like an animal inside caged in a room with a freezing atmosphere, no windows and no lights...... Just as I though I was going to drown here in my own sorrow, Eugene came and called me and some other students out. I rushed out the room without thinking, gasping for the sweetness of fresh air. Was called to go to the library, a confined room, Again. I was having a good moment, sitting there with Eugene, Wei Ken, Sue May and two other Malay girls that I did not remember the names of. Was briefed on Debates. I was listening to her squabbling on what the first speaker is going to do, followed by his team mates and the opposing team. Then only I realized that they wanted to find some students to join the debate team. Afiq came walking in, followed by Mun Chun and Jen Wen. Learned how to debate in the formal way. Killed about three hours of my time. Was glad to actually have a chance at doing a social activity which only requires the mouth with girls this time. Then it suddenly became a meeting on the persons point of view on other debaters. The form five debaters and also those who already graduated. Calculating the chances on how would I actually stand a chance against Eugen, Mun Chun, Jen Wen, Muayyad, Afiq, Sue May and do not forget about the ace in speeches......Wei Ken. Shuddered and try to block those thoughts out of my mind. Cramming in as much details as possible for me to actually get a consolation prize perhaps?
Went home only to find that my computer has crashed, think of reformatting but got lazy and used my brothers computer as the alternative. Having Ace-Edventure tonight and no classes are on tomorrow. Going to have a great time at Ace-Edvenutre, hope something fun comes up. Having Roy over soon, do not want to spoil his mood by blogging in front of him. Good day guys. See you in Ace-Edventure, Jie Sheng, another Jie Sheng, Jack, Nicholas, Edwin and Yong En. Those which I did not mention the names off, sorry but your not in my 'list'. Hah.
Just kidding, I just do not know how to actually type your names out alphabetically in order. Have fun cause i know i will!
Desolate......
Tuesday, 21st of October 2008
Had a great day in school sort of. Had to do some spring cleaning in the teachers office and also the sick room. What I hate most about some teachers are that they are actually bias. My friend and I were working our asses off moping and wiping while the others just went to the school field and picked up a bottle or two. They just did a half pint job and went to seek refuge in the library. We took like a whopping hour to actually clean the muck in those rooms. We went to the library at last. That particular teacher gave two freaking bucks for some half pint job while we worked our asses off. The repetition disease is coming back to me. Suppressing it can only work so long. Had a few games of Scrabble and Chess in the library. Went to the auditorium after recess to have our head filled in with crap. We had to listen to the counselor for three hours. The worst part is that we have to be back in the same auditorium tomorrow to listen to the counselor rambling on about the streams that you desire. As if you do not know which stream you are going into? If you plan to be a pharmacist or a doctor or even a surgeon, would you be going into Art stream to learn art and economics that can help in your path of being one of the above? Would you be joining the Pure Science stream if you know you would go and become an artist? So what was the point in attending school if you already have a desirable application that you already set off for? Would you turn it down just because you heard some crazy speech given by counselor? Would your choice dwindle on the line because your friends and teachers say that it does not suit you? All I have to say. Do not be fooled by their speeches, I warn you now. Do not let them crumble your will so strong, let your mind swindle or edit your judgment......
Solitary Confinement......
Monday, 20th of October 2008
Woke at around six in the morning, had some weird bogus nightmares which I am too embarrassed to post. Cannot stand it anymore, took my shower and went to school. My emotions started working up cause I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. Saw Eugene first thing I came to school, sorry for being so cold. I sat there leaning my back to the pillar watching the students coming and going. I then realized that my beg weighed a ton on my laps. I got so mad that I chucked my bag aside. The first thing that came up to mind was the hatred of 'Somebody'. Those 'Somebody's think that they are actually lending a hand to those who will need it, but what they do not know is that they are playing God passing down 'judgment' to those who are innocent and do not require their assistance. They just chucked us those books thinking that they will be acknowledged as heroes but actually the students hinder their hatred, sealing it away deep into them. Parents, they supported the 'Somebody's to give us the books, and now what? We have about a month left in school and what do we do? We sit down on the assembly ground wasting our precious time. The assembly ground...... I sat down alone in the corner. Flocks of people gathered and chatter among themselves. I sat there, observing them. That deep hatred never subsided from heart, I stared at everyone coldly as all of them turned their backs on me. Recess was a breeze, nothing that concerns me anyway. Finally getting those books off me. I swore that I would not borrow any of 'Somebody's book for the rest of my life. They aspect us to clean up all the muck that the previous person did just in order to give people the good impression that they are handing out first quality books. I am sick of it......Disgusted...... We are having a bunch of crazy activities next week and the week after. We had a briefing on what is coming up. The prefects were called out eventually by the vice-principle for a personal briefing. It seems that we have to be doing jobs throughout the whole fortnight, at least that would keep my mind off things that should not even be in there. The principle came and gave a few pieces of advice...... Prefects are leaders......and the whole load that I did not catch. I was thinking to myself, if we prefects were only leading the students and kept on going up, what would happen to those that were left behind? I pondered on that question deeply in my thoughts. I pledged oath that I would be the prefect that stays behind others, helping them up if they ever fall. Bell rang, we all gave Eugene and Chy Yun a hell of a hard time. Reading their expressions, they were not very pleased at our actions or opinions. We headed for the auditorium and listened 'intensively' to the speech that our counseling teacher gave us. Was so interesting that I almost fell asleep. Went home ten minutes earlier than usual.
Took a shower then went to take a cat nap. Slept till seven in the evening. Not much happened today. Still pissed off at 'Somebody' for the stupid books. Kept away from friends for no reason what so ever......Solitary confinement......
This post was dedicated to my anger and hatred.
Irony......
Sunday, 19th of October 2008
The first thing I felt when I was waking was something cold hard and soothing pressed against my lips. I could not move and my eyelids were cramped together, trying not to glimpse at who or what that was kissing me. The feeling did not subside nor retreat at the fact that I was tilting my head backwards, avoiding the touch. I gave up and snapped my eyes open, the sudden light poured right into my eyes making it hard to see. The blurry scene slowly clears up and what turns out to be is not what it was to be. I was lying on the floor, faced down. Pressing my lips on the cold chilled up tiles. Relieved by the fact that my first kiss on my lips did not appear to be stolen by someone that was not her, I felt more terrible because she was not there to kiss me. Did not bother taking a bath, went to the computer, booted it up and started relaxing. Roy came over to my house again, his mother had something to teach my mom. Was still playing Mortal Kombat, DotA and Maple Story. We went into an oven which was probably preheated till 300°C. Drove off and set Roy down at his house. Went to Bukit Jalil to attend my Squash training. We saw mountains of buses at the stadium. I then remembered that the Feast Festival was being held there from three till eight into the night. Was trying my best to sneak off to attend the Feast Festival......Did not have the guts, my brother and I turned back and slumped and dragged ourselves towards the courts. Were late and quickly entered the court. Trained about three hours. Had a few three-quarter matches with Gary, Wilson, Amani and Kishen. Lost and went home still having the end of PMR feeling lingering in me. Took a bath when I got home, my brother told me that I was starting to smell. Took off again at seven to my cousin's, having his eleventh birthday. Took a considerable amount of pictures, will post them up after my uncle transfers them into his laptop and sends it to me. The theme was a barbecue birthday. Nostalgic scenarios start flowing into my mind, piles of juicy steaks piling up over head. Starting to drool over the thought of it. Lay year, celebrating my cousin's tenth birthday. we even tried grilling calamaris on the barbecue. Turned out great, hope that this year will be just as great. Yet, my heart hinted a drop of guiltiness. I still remembered how I got angry at him in a game. Ironic is it? I got angry ath him, but still he invited me to his birthday party. Feeling terrible but he seems that he forgave me, not even mentioning the topic. I did not think that it was a big deal because all I did was have a little fun with me and called him a cheater. H logged off straight away. I thought I got him angry but my brother told me that he had to attend tuition. Was relieved by that fact, that I did not hurt anyone emotionally, but angry at myself for being stressed out over the small things. Sang the birthday song, had a piece of cake and went home. Attended to my father, he did not want anything from us adn told us to scram. Did as I told and come back to attend to my blog. Dipped into depression cause I still have to attend school on Monday, I know all of you would not want to attend classes tomorrow and some did not even need to. I am forced to be back at school to return the burden that 'Somebody' pass on to us.
As time nears midnight......
Saturday, 18th of October 2008
The title says it all. Blogging as day turns into night. Going on back to blogging...... Today was a great day. I woke up early in the morning getting struck by headaches in the magnitudes of earthquakes. Drowsiness swept over me like veils shrouding my vision. Unable to hold back anymore, I slipped back into the realm of dreams. As weird as this may sound, I dreamed about the upcoming events. My dream started of in the valley of mist, concealed and my vision restricted, I set out aimlessly into that which will greet me in the land of dreams. Soon, the mush under my feet faded away as the crunching of the asphalt rang below my feet. I was standing there in front of the Summit Mall. By instinct, I swiftly strode into the mall. I was approaching the elevator as my mother and brother both solidify from the mist behind me. Even that, I never felt uneasy or insecure as they popped up from no where. The scene changed as I ran across the corridors in the mall looking for that which held importance in my heart, but I just cannot remember it. I kept on running...... I lost my footing and was falling into the abyss beneath me. As I was almost swallowed up by the darkness, I woke up with a jolt. Sitting in my bed, I stared right to find my brother only to see him sleeping silently beside me. Sweat ran down my neck and chilled my bone. I woke up and went for the showers......
The headaches got worse as dawn broke into day accompanied by the unstoppable coughing and flu. Roy came over to my house today. We had a few rounds of DotA games and had lunch at Kentucky. It soothes my tension while he was here, someone my age who I could interact with. Got the 'Breaking Dawn' book by Stephenie Meyer, I kind of forgot the content on the first three books so I am starting from 'Twilight'.Had a go with my Play Station II, played Mortal Kombat, gruesome game with gory effects.Blood slid down the wall like the new Nipon Paint.
As I hung an apple from my mouth, in the small dark room lit by the yellowish light from my salt lamp, I end this post with a
The birth......
Friday, 17th of October 2008
The death of PMR has brought life to many around the world. For them, the corpse of PMR has been burned and thrown into the seas of memories for the forgotten and the lost. The second obstacle of life has been piled down and crushed. With that, the shackles that bind my freedom wither away being sealed away for the time being in the deep dark cellars of my cruel heart. While PMr was being destroyed all over the world, I kept mine silently planting it into the thick crust of my sullen heart. Time faded away faster than the essence of speed itself. From the corpse of PMR, out bloomed the sapling of my blog [http://sanitywarp.blogspot.com/]. The downside of the death of PMR has brought my 'License of Privellege as Priority Under the Roof' revoked. Now I'm just a lonely low life scum who extracts joy from posting in this blog. Discarding the fact that no one loves me anymore, I can bring on the frenzy of ravaging life from books while bursting my eardrums with the pounding music. I love my life for the time being......
